Unlike Me
by Atalnta
Summary: Just a few short funny stories our fave character acting so unlike their usual selves!
1. The Strongest Fighter in the Universe

Disclaimer: I am poor, very poor, so obviously I do not own any Dragon Ball Z characters… If I did, I would be rich, very rich!!

I also do not own TA… if I knew who did, I would acknowledge them

The Strongest Fighter in the Universe 

Goku sat on a rock next to his favorite stream pondering his dilemma. He sighed dramatically as he idly splashed his feet in the water. He had been sitting there for the past few hours trying to find an excuse for his wife to let him go off for a whole weekend without her coming along. All the ones he came up with were either unconvincing or downright laughable

First he thought of shopping spree… why not? Bulma did it all the time! Then he realized that _he _of all people had no need to go shopping. In fact, he rarely even went with Chi-Chi on her daily grocery rounds (the Son family tended to go through their food very quickly).

_Maybe I can say that Gohan and Videl are going away and they asked me to baby-sit Pan_, he thought next. But then Chi-chi would insist on coming along, or perhaps have Pan stay with them for the weekend instead. No that wouldn't work.

Sparring with Vegeta? All she had to do was to call Capsule Corp to know that he wasn't there.

Save a race of aliens on a distant planet from the tyranny of another alien? Hmmmm…. Could work! But then, she might get suspicious if Vegeta, Gohan, Piccolo and the rest of the Z-Senshi weren't needed. They had, after all, helped him at every other time he had once again saved the universe.

Plopping down on the grass, Goku sighed again. _What am I going to do? He demanded to the uncaring clouds. _

You see, Goku had a problem, and he needed help, and he knew he needed it soon. The problem is, after weeks of searching, his treatment had come in the form of weekly visits to a specialist and some group therapy. It had helped of course, but he now found that if he didn't go regularly, it got worse, so his specialist had a recommended he attend a weekend extensive therapy program to help him fight his problem. 

Now only to find an excuse clever enough for him to go.  So he did the one thing in the universe he needed helped battling – think. Yes folks, Goku was a compulsive thinker. 

It had all started one night after dinner when he had sat contentedly at the kitchen table, idly thinking about how yummy Chi-chi's cooking was. He thought about how she always managed to cook up enough food to satisfy his and Goten's saiyan appetite, and how it always tasted wonderful. Later that night as he lay in bed, once again thinking about food, he thought about how much food he had eaten that day and how small his stomach was despite the quantity he had eaten. Still pondering about it the next day as he walked into the woods to gather firewood, he thought about how his stomach digested its food, and seeing a snake, he started wondering how It digested its food. Gohan had once told him that some snaked could swallow a man whole. Looking at its slender body, Goku wondered how that could be. He walked the rest of the way home thinking about it. 

Pretty soon, he was thinking about everything, at first it was only at times when something grabbed his attention, but soon enough, one thought would lead to another and before long, he was thinking about practically everything. Thinking was starting to consume him. He even started thinking when he was eating! Chi-chi would at times hit him on the head with her Frying Pan of Doom to get his attention. Then there were the times he would be so busy thinking in the woods that he would not come home till late and that would entitle him some sever scolding from his wife and more hits on the head with the aforementioned frying pan. The worst would be the shame of getting beaten to a bloody pulp by Vegeta because he was too distracted to spar.

No, it was time for him to conquer his problems. And he had, by joining his support group. He had been going for about 6 months now, and it seemed that he needed much stronger measures to fight in completely, hence the weekend program. Now if only he could just think of an excuse.

Sighing one last time, Goku stood and gathered the fish he had caught for dinner and prepared to take them home before Chi-chi started yelling for me.

_Maybe I should just tell her the truth_, he thought. Yes, Chi-chi was a smart, loving and understanding wife. She would not only understand, but She would be extremely supportive when told that her husband, Goku, Super Saiyan and mightiest warrior in the universe (and afterlife!) was a member of TA…….. Thinkers Anonymous.

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It's a bit short, but what do you think? It's my first fan-fiction. Pls R &R.. Constructive criticism is nice.. just no flames pls

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	2. The Prince of all Saiyans

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Ball Z

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The Prince of all Saiyans 

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Vegeta's eyes snapped open as the alarm clock on his bedside shrilled to life. Getting up quietly to avoid waking Bulma, he switched it off and headed towards the shower to grab a towel before starting his grueling training session this morning. He knew that today would be enormously hectic at work, and he needed to be alert, and in tip-top shape. He wanted to be at his fittest and these 4am workouts always helped.

Afterwards, he headed towards the kitchen and uttered the same three words he spoke every morning

"Woman. Food. Now," before dropping himself at the kitchen table. Not even bothering to look up from the paper she was reading, Bulma replied, "I have a name Vegeta, and it's BULMA. Coffee's brewing but the bacon and eggs are done. Help your self"

Scowling at her, he filled five plates of food and attacked them all vigorously, knowing that he would not be full after breakfast. _Just as well_, he thought, _I don't want to feel heavy this morning_. He finished his unusually small breakfast just as Bulma put away her paper and put the dishes in the sink. "I think you should shower and change now Vegeta," she said. They usually drove to work together and Bulma had no desire to be late today, she had several reports to go through before a huge corporate meeting this afternoon. Vegeta smirked as she turned from the sink, noticing that the silk suit she was wearing was a pale cream color, accentuating her creamy skin. _If she were any paler, she would look naked_, he thought, his eyes narrowing as he imagined her without any clothes on. Before she could realize what he was doing, Bulma found herself slung over Vegeta's shoulder and being carried upstairs

"Vegetal!!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, forgetting that Trunks and Bra were still sleeping. "Put me DOWN! I'm going tot be late for work!" though she knew it would have no effect on him, she started pounding Vegeta's shoulders with her fists. Vegeta simply ignored her as, smirking, he headed towards their private bathroom.

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Later that day, Vegeta stood in front of a group of people, glaring furiously at a young pimply teenage boy. The said boy was now trembling violently, eyeing the exit at the back of the room almost desperately. 

"WHAT! Was THAT?!?!" Vegeta demanded, looking ready to rip his head off

"Th-that was a p-p-pirouette, se-sir," he managed to stammer, his knees knocking together.

"You call THAT a pirouette?" Vegeta demanded in anger "THIS, is a pirouette!"

With that he turned and marched towards the front of the class. He whirled swiftly and raised his arms above his head, lifting himself on to the tip of his toes. Taking a few small running steps, he then launched himself into the air, arms out, and leaped gracefully twice. Landing on his toes again, he spun in place, his arms straight up over his head, parallel to his flaming hair. After about 2 minutes of high-speed twirls, he once again, leaped gracefully into the air, executed another short perfect twirl, and then landed softly on his knee, his arms, landing gracefully at his side, his head up proudly, face serene. After a short stunned silence, the rest of the students, most of them now drooling bucket loads onto the polished floor, clapped enthusiastically.

Getting up, Vegeta once again pasted his trademark scowl onto his face and addressed the now-awed teenager. 

"As you can obviously see," he said, "That was what a pirouette should look like. Graceful. Flowing. Pleasurable to watch. You!" he pointed accusingly at the boy "were not even remotely graceful." He paced across the front of the room, arms crossed. "If you all desire to learn at this school, you must remember that here, at the Saiyan School of Ballet, FAILURE IS NOT ACCEPTED" he thundered the last, causing his students to jump. "This school is one of the finest schools in the world and you will NOT taint its name with your sloppy performance!! I expect nothing but the best1 Perfection! And you _will_ practice until I am satisfied! Now you" he once again turned his attention to the offending teenager "will perfect that move by next week" he narrowed his eyes slightly "or else!" And with that, he turned on his heel, ripped his tutu off, through it over his shoulder and stalked out of the room, ignoring the squeals of delight and sounds of fighting as his pupils fought over the recently discarded garment.

Later that night, as Bulma lay across his chest, listening to the even sounds of his breathing, she thought about how life could be so weird at times. Two years ago, she would never have imagined Vegeta, willingly spending precious time outside of the gravity, let alone find a 'normal' job. But now, who would have thought that he would be an international acclaimed ballet instructor?!? 

She remembered how she once dragged him to the premier of The Nutcracker, enduring the scornful comments from Vegeta the entire night. Gritting her teeth, she had asked him if he could do better, attacking his saiyan pride and suggesting that he wasn't fit enough, manly enough, or _good enough _to learn ballet. To her family's surprise, and his, he took up her challenge and enrolled himself in the top ballet school at the metropolitan. Before they even had time to digest all of this, the Brief family had found themselves once again at an exclusive ballet premiere, this time with Vegeta in the star role of Romeo and Juliet. Miracles never ceased to happen.

Giggling softly to herself, she propped up on her shoulders and drank in his perfect features. _By Dende, he's beautiful,_ she thought, resisting the urge to kiss him, knowing full well that his saiyan senses would make him wake up at the slightest touch. Instead she lay back onto his chest and settled into a dreamless sleep.

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Vegeta in leotards… *drooool*

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p.s I do _not _know anything about ballet, so pls, not flames about that either

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